Chair

I was always an outsider among my groups of friends when I was going to the college.
The girls an girl-staff were not my primary interests. There were few things I liked when I was 23--paintings, cars and video games...+ sleeping and wines. However, once in a while I made my effort to be part of my Korean socializing group, because I can't be always hanging out playing Play Stations with boys.

People don't usually like the outsider in their groups, but I was an outsider with one foot in.
When I went to the Saturday brunch that afternoon, I had the genuine welcoming like--"I haven't seen you for a while Unni (a Korean word that is used to call older female person for girls)" " How have you been?"--Smiling, talking... I probably saw them 2 months ago or something like that at the beginning of the semester, I thought.

I usually listened their stories, partly because I was older, and partly because I had nothing to talk about or add to their gossip. I needed to eat and rest.

We ordered food more talking and more talking.... and a girl came in.
Then all of sudden--silence.
I recognized the girl's face--I saw her around before.
She said hi and few replied back, but most were ignoring her existence.
She stood there in silence.

I called a waitress and asked for a chair.
"have a sit, why are you standing there?" I said.
Few looked at me, but they couldn't say anything--yes, I'm older than them:) I ate.
She sat and ordered food.
That was an awkward Saturday brunch ever, because people kept having awkward conversation or dropping into silent moments to moments. That girl was mostly quiet but few next to her kept talking to her. Later, the girl said thank you through FaceBook.

I thought at that time,
1) That girl must have done something wrong for the group or have troubles with a person in the group.
2) I don't want to be involved.
3) I don't want to make any consequences of my act.
4) But letting a person to stand there--is a wrong of doing--not an act of genuineness.
5) I'm older. :):):):)

I told this story as witnessing incidence of violence during our long-hour class.

This is that chair I called for. It is a magic chair, inviting you all to sit. 

I can't be the softest nice person, but I invite you to sit. 

When people are in a group, individuals position/act themselves differently.
And there is benefits and dangers of groupthink.
The behavior and choic-making of an individual is directly and indirectly influenced by the group or group leader. Thus, act of violence can occur.