Intersections & Inequality

There was a year in undergrad where all but one of my friends came out as either gay, queer, lesbian, or trans. It was somewhat of a domino effect that shifted our dynamic and caused a large change in the way we thought, acted, and spoke to not only one another, but anyone we met. When we started school together we used to play a game. Since art school was full of genderless blobs (sorry if I'm misquoting you Chance), we would find someone and ask each other: male or female? after that we would debate post-op or pre-op. We understood it was a terrible game, but it was fun and we didn't think much else of it until one of our own came out as trans. First there was a shift in our language. We would use male pronouns and his male name. Then there was a shift in our thoughts and behavior. There were a lot of things we didn't expect to change. We were all still friends, we loved and accepted one another for who we were, but a person's personality changes when they change their hormone levels. My friend was going through a transition, but so was our friendship and that was the most challenging adjustment.

Being one of the only people in my group of friends that identified as heterosexual made me somewhat of an outsider. As much as I was loved and accepted by my group of friends, I wasn't experiencing what they were and they needed a group of people who could. This is where I connected with the Granzka article. I have privileges as a heterosexual woman and there were some things that I just wouldn't understand. Luckily this just called for an expansion of our group of friends into the trans community.

Something that Chance said was something that took me a long time to learn, "it can be difficult to understand the layers and ranges of gender expression, gender, and sexuality that are represented by queer bodies (not just for observers, but for the queer person themselves)". For example, telling my queer roommate she is a lesbian isn't going to make her any less confused about her sexuality. My need for clarification only got in the way of understanding a person's feelings. Sometimes it is more important to have respect for people's choices than to fully understand them.

I see gender and identity as a performance. I see how my friends act around me and how they have to act in public spaces (on the train for example) where they may not feel safe to express themselves. I also perform my gender differently at home than I would at school or with friends. We should have had to read Judith Butler this week. Everyone read Judith Butler. The end.